i am about to lose it and have act normal for the next 9 hours. Can’t use sick time.
i have said this before. Whatever the emotion of the moment, it is so magnified I can barely stand it!!
Anger…..my psychologist says to write down the things that are enraging me. Then put a check next to the the things I can change. I can’t change shit….is that the point? Was that supposed to make me feel better. Shit in my head, shit on the news umm related to the police.
Anyway I feel like I am having palpitations. A panic attack is coming on. Perfect timing eh? I am about to walk into work. All my wounds had healed. I have a new one. It always seems like I need at least one.
i moved in with my daughter. Because I take the back roads to avoid as much traffic as possibles. It is now a half hour commute.
I still have those instances when I feel like a failure for having to move in with my daughter. I will get back on my feet financially and be back on my own again.
The reason for the wow? I have been leaving early for work since I don’t know what the traffic will do. Today was my fourth time eating at Denny’s ALONE. I don’t know if this is a permanent win or a temporary one. When I am there and when I have to go outside to walk my daughter’s dog…. I just think to myself…. There is so much shit swirling in my head all day I just don’t have room in my head to worry about what some stranger driving by thinks.
I still try to have my breaks and lunches alone at work. I still yearn to stay indoors and never leave the apartment. I have resumed taking my Xanax in an effort to numb myself at work.
Gotta go. Robot mode is calling
I moved in with my daughter. What a failure.
Kermit and Miss Piggy announcing their divorce after 40 yrs. No shit. That was just announced on the news. I don’t know about this country! Doesn’t anyone stay together anymore?
Sharing lessens the power that pain exudes.